Last weekend I had some kind of crazy-bitch-magnet in overdrive. Not one, but two separate unrelated crazy women decided to come after me. Both have serious jealousy issues that I unwittingly incited.
The first was my late ex-husband’s first wife. Mike and I got along great even after the divorce. After I made a smart-ass comment about how he’s my favorite ex-husband, he smiled and told me I’m his favorite ex-wife–and he has more than one. Probably because unlike his first wife, I’ve never accused him of horrible things like rape, abuse or theft. The first wife (who he divorced more than a decade ago) somehow found out Mike passed away and read the site my mother-in-law and I started in his memory to help raise awareness of healthcare rights. On that site, I described myself as Mike’s “favorite ex-wife.” I think that must have set her off.
She started by sending me a myspace message saying she was sorry for my loss and she wished she had known because she would have helped us financially. She also said she would never get over his death. I tried to reply to thank her for the condolences. However, her myspace would only allow messages from friends. So I sent her a friend request. Three weeks later, she hadn’t responded, so I deleted my request. Her response was to post a hate-filled slanderous account of her life with Mike. According to her warped religious views, Mike and his family were horrible evil people and he’s surely burning in hell. Now, I’m not at all religious, so I could give a shit about her religious mumbo-jumbo. However, I do know if there is a hell, Mike is definitely not there. And telling horrible lies about someone who can’t defend themselves because they’re dead is just low.
I responded by sending her a message filled with atheist and anti-Christian propaganda. Which was childish but made me feel a bit better. I also let her know Mike said he’s already experienced hell: being married to her.
Needless to say, I was already riled up when I encountered crazy bitch #2.
The second one is my boyfriend’s roommate. This woman does not have any understanding of privacy. She had promised to be out of the house while I was visiting so we could have some time alone. Instead, the morning I went down there, she decided to stay at home. She still said she would stay out of our way. Instead, I’m not in town even 15 minutes when she starts harassing us. For some reason, calling constantly while we’re trying to have dinner constitutes “giving us some space” in her book. After dinner, we went back to his place. She decided that since we had closed and locked the door to his room as soon as we got there that must have meant we wanted her to come knock on the door to ask something about laundry. We made it very clear to her, that no, we actually wanted to be alone. So she started crying and told me I was being “unrational.” I yelled at her and told her I definitely couldn’t be “unrational” since that doesn’t exist. If she meant I was being irrational, then she was still wrong because she had broken her promise to give us privacy almost immediately. Then we left the house and avoided her for the rest of the weekend.
But that wasn’t enough for her. No, she wanted drama and wanted to make sure we did not have time alone together. Since we were ignoring her, she made she couldn’t be ignored and called the police to have me removed from the premises. Unfortunately for her, that just meant we stayed in a hotel. At least in a hotel if you put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door, no one walks in on you.